Sunday, 25 September 2011

Today was spent watching my son at the second round of his County Rugby Selection. I had so much I needed to do at home, finish the front garden, make a start on painting Josie's bedroom floor boards but I remembered all of the things that I had written on my last post, all those things could wait but this was special, especially that he had said I could come along and watch him. I dressed smart (well for me), I hid the knitting in my bag and only did it when I knew he couldn't see me.

We all thought that as he had only been put in one match that he hadn't made the grade, but his was the fourth name on the list that was called out to play next week against Cornwall.

I am so very proud of this young man.

Thank you for such lovely comments that you left on for me on the last post. I know I am so very lucky and I am so very proud of both of my two young adults.

I know many of the blogs I read at the moment have posts about children going off to uni or college, but a week and a half down the line I have to say it is OK actually. Strange, peaceful and tidy, but I know Jose is fine, excited about the start of this journey that is her's for the making. And now I just need to get my head around MY life is mine for the making.

Well done Jasper xx

Saturday, 17 September 2011

All change (again !!) here at PC xx

remember this is my baby!! looks at his arms!!

 This is an odd, mixed up post but I want to get up to date with the things that have been happening around Poppy Cottage.  I haven't managed to upload the photos in the order I really wanted to get them.

Jasper has been helping me to cover in a bit of a leanto that a friend built for me.  Polycarbonate has gone on the flat bit and today he has put on slates on the 'roof' bit.  I am so chuffed with how it looks, little bit more to do then I can have a dry place to sit out the front of my cottage (no more listening to very loud voice of neighbour who has a voice like a fog horn!! - when I sit out the back)  I look at these photos and want to know where my little boy has gone, someone has replaced him with a young man with muscles!!

But the most important bit that has happened her over the last week is this.......

 Jose has moved to LONDON!!!
She seems so happy and I am so proud.  It feels odd.  I don't really want to put on here what I am feeling as I don't really know to be honest.  I have Jasper, Smudge and Whinnie here so I can't say that my house is quiet, far from it, it is a mess and with Whinnie being 16 weeks old, all she seems to do is play ALL the time.
But....... the house just feels so empty, I stand in the door way of her room and realise that it is for real, it has come around so fast, my little girl has grown and she has started her journey through life.
She has the passion and drive to do what ever she wants to do in life, she'll do it.  I KNOW she appreciates not only the financial cost but what it is costing to ensure that she can follow this dream, and I have to say I would have sold my soul to be able to give her this opportunity.  I know she will make her Dad and I so proud (we are both very proud of her already, I know I am)
But the thing I am going to miss the her eyes, her beautiful eyes looking at me, hey, I am allowed to be sentimental!!

I love you Jose xx

other things that have been going on in my little life....

Catching a perfect memory through my Mum and Dad's kitchen window,

A weekend spent with my sister in Cornwall, she was at work in the day but we still had the evenings together,

A wrong turn that lifted my soul, my most special memory of my marriage to Mike was standing in the gate way of a wind farm, the sound of the blades turning, was I have to say for me one of the most amazing moments (not children or pet related) the power, the sound but also the silence.  I would happily live within the close proximity of a wind farm.  So when I left Tracie's and went to wrong way I took time to walk through the farm, closing my eyes and just hearing the sound, magical.

And my girl got attacked by something.  Much better now but she has yet another sore area come up.  She suffers from 'wet excema (? can't spell it today!!)' and is on Antibiotics but I was just saying to a friend tonight that if I still lived on the Small holding I would spray it with purple spray (used for sheep's feet), I will run this past my friend who is a vet, and just see if there was a different type of the same sort of spray, a more discreet version, not bright purple, I can just imagine the looks we'll get!! 

So tomorrow I wake up to the first Birthday in 17 years without my daughter with me, I'll be 39.  I can't believe that the years have flown by so fast.  I know that I am so lucky with how my life and my children have turned out but just sometimes I would give anything in the world to turn back the clock to the year when I had two little children age 5 and 4 and do so many things different, spend so much more time playing with them, less time worrying I hadn't done house work, dinner, washing, cleaned the fridge (I have a love hate relationship with my fridge even now!!) I wish we had just cuddled, read more just done more 'stuff'.

The one I think I did right was always tell them that I loved them, and I was so proud of them, I think that that is something both Josie and Jasper are in no doubt.

Live your life Jose the way you want to, soak up the buzz of London, shine in all you do because your Mum believes in you xx
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