Monday, 27 December 2010

What is it about 2010

This year.  I have to say that I am looking forward to saying good bye to it.  I have a gut feeling 2011 is going to be better.  It has to be really.  Ashley's baby is due at the end of January.  Jose will be 17 so wants to start driving. Jasper has been picked for The School of Rugby. Good, positive things.

But 2010, pretty crap really. This is Socks.  She is 15, tomorrow I say good bye to her.  She is filling up with fluid, her breathing is painful to watch.  She no longer looks like this, like she did in the Summer of 2009, she now is skinny, matted as she can't groom herself and to brush her hurts her so much.  But she still purrs.

She is my last link to the life I used to have, I know it sounds daft, but this bundle of fluff came home when life was good, Jose used to dress her in baby clothes and plonk her in a pram, Socks loved it.  She is such an affectionate cat.  She has always dribbled, strange how that seems to have stopped at the moment.
Seems crule to play God like this doesn't it - or does it.  Because lets face it if she was human, we'd shove her in a hospital bed, keep her going until her body fianally gave up.  Till she was so scared because breathing was a battle, till she slowly drowned.  Often alone.  At leat I can prevent that from happening to my beloved cat.  But so soon after loosing Cleo.  Jon is coming back to my cottage tomorrow to help my cat slip away peacefully.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Where has that month gone?

Yet more snow photos!!!

Sorry.

I can't believe that it has been a month since I last wrote a post.
In that time.  5 amazing puppies have gone to the most fantastic homes.  I have been so chuffed that they have all kept in touch so I have seen pictures of the puppies.  They all seem to be so good.  Mmmmm...... Lily, do you hear that!!  But I miss them.  More then any other litter I have raised in , Ooooh, 10 years.  I wish I had kept one.  The one that clicked for me in the last week was the little girl that they called Ruby (yes I also wanted to keep one of the boys - I know, I know!!)
My cottage has under gone an amazing transformation.  The stairs are boxed in (sorry Lily, no more going upstairs!!!) and the wall between the lounge and the hall has gone, so now I have a lovely open lounge.  Just need to paint once the plaster has dried and make curtains for the front door and small window.  My Bedroom is coming downstairs.  Not more attic stairs to negotiate in the middle of the night.  And - cringe (for some) but I can have Lil to keep my feet warm!! ALL my craft stuff is going to go up to the attic.  Jose and I can have a massive - fun - craft room.  I am not making things to sell any more, I want to make things for me and friends.  It seems, I don't know if you agree, when you make things with selling them in mind you forget to make some of those things for yourself.  It can almost loose the whole reason we make things in the first place.  Well, that's what I think anyway.

I have GOT to try and keep my house a bit tidier.  Tomorrow I go with a friend to pick up two nice sofas that I brought on e-Bay for £25!! (must be Christmas) Although I am not sure if they will fit through the cottage's front door!!
 I also have got a new phone with the most amazing camera on it.  So now there should be no reason not to blog more often!!
Some crappy personal stuff, which has made me question some aspects about my life, and taught me a few lessons, made me just that little bit more cynical (and slightly more un-trusting) but hey ho, it is what makes us not only stronger but who we are.  So it is not all doom and gloom!!
I love my dog, my kids, my cottage and my job, but there is something missing.  The J's are growing up and I feel sometimes a bit like a spare part, like they still need you, but no longer REALLY need you.  I guess it is the start of the empty nest syndrome (yuck!!) but I would think that for someone who is part of a couple or a complete family unit, that means that you just get to know one another a bit more, better or what ever.  For me, as I know my partner Lily like the back of my hand so it has made me think more about what I would like out of life.  Made me wonder what 2011 will bring.
 My boy has been picked by The School of Rugby.  Two things Mike and I did right was have amazing kids.  Strong willed, pig headed switched on kids.  They are at that wonderful stage in life where what ever they want is obtainable.  Deep down I envy them that future, but I know that I have to make mine in the same way they will make theirs (for the first time I can put what I want at the top of my list - although that isn't so easy when you think about it).  I want to work full time, to do a job that I feel rewarded in, sort of whole (Yes Yes, this time of year always makes us feel mellow dramatic!!) I also would like a decent wage! (who doesn't when you have bills to pay, a house hold to run) I totally love the job I do now, but there are not really full time hours available.  I have a regular night now and the lady I work with is fantastic, (I could learn an awful lot from her)  But something just niggles, I miss being outside, I miss working on my own (!!!!!).  So I have started to think of other things.  They sacked - sorry -  let go the Gardener they employed (instead of me!!!!!Ha Ha!!) so that job is coming up.  But this last week has made me think differently about applying for it.  But I have applied for a post as Dog Warden.  I know I don't stand a chance but it was good to fill out the application form.  To think of all the positive bits about yourself.  To try to sell your self.  I want my cake and eat it really, I want to keep the hours I have at H.H but to do another totally different job as well.
Who wouldn't want to work for the benefit of these all day, along with the good bits, the sad bits, the not so good bits.

Me and my girl, I don't need anything more then that.  Together we are a team, a relationship that needs each other to work. 

So here is to 2011, a fresh new year.  I hope that everyone enjoys Christmas with the differences that the weather will make.  We are alive, hopefully healthy and have a whole new year to look forward to.

For that we are so very lucky.

Colette & Lily
 
Blogger Template By Designer Blogs