That's me. Thank you for all your kind, encouraging words. I didn't sleep for two nights, my mind racing, the serious lack of self confidence I have in myself had taken over from the excitement of the moment. I know I could do it, deep down, with my eyes shut, but no matter how much I kept telling myself that, I just couldn't shake off the sense of total dread I was feeling. Of being in the public eye, so I left it another day (again a sleepless night, plenty of tears) then e-mailed my friends turning down the offer. They know me so understand.
See at work in the residential home I feel totally different, I feel confident once I walk through the doors, I love it. I have the feeling of 'coming home' went I go to work.
Ok, so I found out something about myself, and maybe given myself the shake up I needed (too personal to blog about xx) So, I shall enjoy Lily and the impending puppies (we are are on the last week count down!!!!) I shall get some UFO's finished (Jasper's jumper was being worn last night and Josie's blanket is getting there - Oh what a shame, I need to buy some more wool........)
And stop worrying!!But on a much more positive note, my baby is 15 today!!!!!!! (He forgot it was his Birthday so he agreed to play rugby after school - they won hands down!!) I gave him an incubator and an IOU for 10 rare breed chicken eggs (once he has set up the incubator) and his sister, who he ALWAYS professes to dislike, brought him (and their Dad) England V Samoa rugby tickets. How cool is that!! Even he had to smile at that!!