Monday, 27 December 2010

What is it about 2010

This year.  I have to say that I am looking forward to saying good bye to it.  I have a gut feeling 2011 is going to be better.  It has to be really.  Ashley's baby is due at the end of January.  Jose will be 17 so wants to start driving. Jasper has been picked for The School of Rugby. Good, positive things.

But 2010, pretty crap really. This is Socks.  She is 15, tomorrow I say good bye to her.  She is filling up with fluid, her breathing is painful to watch.  She no longer looks like this, like she did in the Summer of 2009, she now is skinny, matted as she can't groom herself and to brush her hurts her so much.  But she still purrs.

She is my last link to the life I used to have, I know it sounds daft, but this bundle of fluff came home when life was good, Jose used to dress her in baby clothes and plonk her in a pram, Socks loved it.  She is such an affectionate cat.  She has always dribbled, strange how that seems to have stopped at the moment.
Seems crule to play God like this doesn't it - or does it.  Because lets face it if she was human, we'd shove her in a hospital bed, keep her going until her body fianally gave up.  Till she was so scared because breathing was a battle, till she slowly drowned.  Often alone.  At leat I can prevent that from happening to my beloved cat.  But so soon after loosing Cleo.  Jon is coming back to my cottage tomorrow to help my cat slip away peacefully.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Where has that month gone?

Yet more snow photos!!!


I can't believe that it has been a month since I last wrote a post.
In that time.  5 amazing puppies have gone to the most fantastic homes.  I have been so chuffed that they have all kept in touch so I have seen pictures of the puppies.  They all seem to be so good.  Mmmmm...... Lily, do you hear that!!  But I miss them.  More then any other litter I have raised in , Ooooh, 10 years.  I wish I had kept one.  The one that clicked for me in the last week was the little girl that they called Ruby (yes I also wanted to keep one of the boys - I know, I know!!)
My cottage has under gone an amazing transformation.  The stairs are boxed in (sorry Lily, no more going upstairs!!!) and the wall between the lounge and the hall has gone, so now I have a lovely open lounge.  Just need to paint once the plaster has dried and make curtains for the front door and small window.  My Bedroom is coming downstairs.  Not more attic stairs to negotiate in the middle of the night.  And - cringe (for some) but I can have Lil to keep my feet warm!! ALL my craft stuff is going to go up to the attic.  Jose and I can have a massive - fun - craft room.  I am not making things to sell any more, I want to make things for me and friends.  It seems, I don't know if you agree, when you make things with selling them in mind you forget to make some of those things for yourself.  It can almost loose the whole reason we make things in the first place.  Well, that's what I think anyway.

I have GOT to try and keep my house a bit tidier.  Tomorrow I go with a friend to pick up two nice sofas that I brought on e-Bay for £25!! (must be Christmas) Although I am not sure if they will fit through the cottage's front door!!
 I also have got a new phone with the most amazing camera on it.  So now there should be no reason not to blog more often!!
Some crappy personal stuff, which has made me question some aspects about my life, and taught me a few lessons, made me just that little bit more cynical (and slightly more un-trusting) but hey ho, it is what makes us not only stronger but who we are.  So it is not all doom and gloom!!
I love my dog, my kids, my cottage and my job, but there is something missing.  The J's are growing up and I feel sometimes a bit like a spare part, like they still need you, but no longer REALLY need you.  I guess it is the start of the empty nest syndrome (yuck!!) but I would think that for someone who is part of a couple or a complete family unit, that means that you just get to know one another a bit more, better or what ever.  For me, as I know my partner Lily like the back of my hand so it has made me think more about what I would like out of life.  Made me wonder what 2011 will bring.
 My boy has been picked by The School of Rugby.  Two things Mike and I did right was have amazing kids.  Strong willed, pig headed switched on kids.  They are at that wonderful stage in life where what ever they want is obtainable.  Deep down I envy them that future, but I know that I have to make mine in the same way they will make theirs (for the first time I can put what I want at the top of my list - although that isn't so easy when you think about it).  I want to work full time, to do a job that I feel rewarded in, sort of whole (Yes Yes, this time of year always makes us feel mellow dramatic!!) I also would like a decent wage! (who doesn't when you have bills to pay, a house hold to run) I totally love the job I do now, but there are not really full time hours available.  I have a regular night now and the lady I work with is fantastic, (I could learn an awful lot from her)  But something just niggles, I miss being outside, I miss working on my own (!!!!!).  So I have started to think of other things.  They sacked - sorry -  let go the Gardener they employed (instead of me!!!!!Ha Ha!!) so that job is coming up.  But this last week has made me think differently about applying for it.  But I have applied for a post as Dog Warden.  I know I don't stand a chance but it was good to fill out the application form.  To think of all the positive bits about yourself.  To try to sell your self.  I want my cake and eat it really, I want to keep the hours I have at H.H but to do another totally different job as well.
Who wouldn't want to work for the benefit of these all day, along with the good bits, the sad bits, the not so good bits.

Me and my girl, I don't need anything more then that.  Together we are a team, a relationship that needs each other to work. 

So here is to 2011, a fresh new year.  I hope that everyone enjoys Christmas with the differences that the weather will make.  We are alive, hopefully healthy and have a whole new year to look forward to.

For that we are so very lucky.

Colette & Lily

Sunday, 21 November 2010

I once had a garden.........

but then again who cares, it'll grow back!!

Thank you for all you words of comfort.  As you all said the pups are so lovely and so cuddly having them has really helped. 

As you can see from the above, the pups have grown and have discovered that it is really really good fun to hide under the shed and to totally distroy any bit of garden that I had, but do you know what, who cares.

Colette x

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Thank you so much xx

Thank you all so much for such lovely comments.  Jon came up about 9pm on Monday, Cleo was asleep on the sofa.  He carefully injected Cleo with a sedative which made him sleepy, I made us a cup of tea, and he gave me time to make 100% certain that this what what I wanted, Jose came home from an evening out with her Dad, whilst I sat and stroked my cat, in turn my very grown up daughter hugged me, Jon quietly went out to get what was needed.  With the up most respect to me and my feelings, he very carefully put my beautiful black cat to sleep.  Jose was amazing and Jon also.  We talked about how long I had had him, in between my snotty tears, I thanked him and carried on touching my soft, pain free cat.

I know it is his job, but I was amazed by the tenderness Jon showed to me and my daughter - to put an animal to sleep to end it suffering is one thing, I think to put your friends pet to sleep and to watch your friend suffer the heartbreaking moment when you know they are gone must be incredibly hard.  For that I will be forever grateful.

I have always said I may be skint, but I am so rich in friends.
Who could want for more.

 This is Sheye

 Now these wellies smell good!!


 Don't those eyes just melt you.
 As you can see, wellies seem to be the best kind of foot wear in Poppy Cottage at this moment in time.

 They still smell so nice, Sheye really snuggles into your neck.

 Look - must like him a lot!!!!!  2 photo's (Samba - Just so so laid back)
 Socks - She seems to be Ok.
 Boy, I need to re-paint my door frames!!

 Again Ruby or Flo
 In the background, as you can see, are the boys!! (and Sheye)
 Watch out Brian, she is SOOOOOOOOOOOO affectionate.
 My favourite (shouldn't really admit to that should I) Samba
Ruby or Flo

All of these photos were taken by Jose

Monday, 15 November 2010


This was my lovely cat Cleo last night, all snuggled up with the pups.

 Then before I went to bed he seemed to collapsed on his back legs,  he does do this often, he is 19 and seems to just get up and carry on.  He was sat on my lap, being stroked and brushed.  (he does have a smell about him, I have put this down to age - horrible to say but a rotting smell)  When I placed him on the floor he seemed to have a really hard job breathing, it was heart breaking to watch, when he recovered he chose to hide away from the pups, this in it's self is unusual.  I made him comfortable and he slept.  This morning I hoped, is that wrong, that he would have passed away in his sleep.  When I came down, he came out from where he had slept and just sat and watched me.  Why did I want him to have gone in his sleep?  Because it takes away the decision that I know in my heart is the right one to make, but how do you know it is the right time, how do you know that your animal, who you have loved for so long, has had enough struggling on.  He seemed to rally when the pups came along, he has spent most of the last six weeks in the company of the five pups, through choice, almost seeking out their company.  But his eyes seem to be different, his body is just fur and bones, even the muscles in his back legs are no longer there.

 But I have had him in my life for so long.
When I moved in with the children's Dad I really wanted a pet of my own, Mike had his dog Percy, I kept asking for a kitten, the answer was always no.  The one night, Mike was really drunk (!!!!) and I asked again, this time the answer came, "if you must!!"
 Needless to say I had learnt enough about this man to know to say nothing more in the morning.  He left for work, I had a day off, I headed for the postcards in shop windows and found a litter of kittens.
 I went to see them, two litters, born at the same time from two sisters.  An abundance of kittens ran around this room, all so friendly, not shy in any way....apart from one........who hid behind the washing machine.
And that, being me is the kitten I came home with, Cleo, who was meant to be a little girl, turned out to be a boy, who has been with me all my adult life.  And tonight my friend the vet will come and put him to sleep for me.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Just pure fun........

All the girls have new homes and to be honest they couldn't be going to nicer people.  I am so chuffed, so that leaves the boys..................

 A family with two boys are coming to see them on Sunday.....  I have a good feeling about them, you know when you just get a feeling in your tummy, that you know that something good is going to happen, that is what I have at the moment.
 Don't ask what happened here...................

Although, I do have a favourite, hands down, but I can't keep one, Lily and I have too many adventures to go off on.
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